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Invested
“Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” -John Lennon I have been absent from the blogosphere lately…. So for the most part, Kylie and I are hanging in there in Raleigh. Some things seem to be easier than they were in the beginning. I alternate between trying to decide if I’m crazy for being here and convincing myself that this was the right decision all along. We have lived here for almost a year, but the last twelve months only seem to be a blur to me. My days run together in the bustle of getting Kylie to and from school, making it to work, and retaining my dwindling sanity. Work…
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The Great Escape
I have lived in Raleigh for almost five months now. The time has flown and dragged simultaneously. It feels like I blinked and the entire summer flew by, but at the same time, so much has gone on since June when we began our new life here. There were fleeting moments when I didn’t think that things were going to work out. I imagined numerous ways that I could make an escape if necessary. I thought about quitting my job and going back to Winston-Salem where I wasn’t much happier, but at least I had someone to help with Kylie. I considered packing everything into (another) U-haul and driving straight…
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Go
“If he’s dumb enough to walk away, be smart enough to let him go….” —person smarter than me who came up with that quote Is there anything worse than the “stuff swap” after a breakup? You know, the moment when the guy comes back to pick up all of the t-shirts and sunglasses and DVDs that he left at your house, and he drops off the earrings and hairspray and awesome cowgirl boots (that you forgot you bought) that you ditched at his. It’s so incredibly awkward and awful. You’re in the room with someone that you once could not get close enough to, who you could not wait to hug…
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Winning
I love when things just seem to come together in the way that they should. The past few months have been a whirlwind of craziness. Since March when I was offered the chance to move up within my company, my mind hasn’t stopped racing. There has been the chaos of finding a new place to live, a part-time nanny to help out with Kylie, and getting used to the new job. This is all in addition to having a two hour drive each way to work. I am basically living in my car at the moment. There is only one week to go; we are entering the final stretch before…
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See You Again
I lost my sweet grandma earlier this month. Everything that seemed difficult in my life up until that moment pales in comparison. Even now, three weeks later, it hits me like a ton of bricks at the most random times. I catch myself driving home from a perfectly fantastic day, when suddenly a song on the radio will remind me, and the past three weeks goes racing through my mind like a VHS on fast forward. I cry a lot in the car when no one can see. I feel like I have to be stronger, when in actuality I feel empty. It was a Monday afternoon when my dad…
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Falling into Place
In the chaotic World-of-Carrie, things are finally seeming to work themselves out. I am a big believer that when God wants you to be somewhere or do something, He makes things happen to push it along. In my experience, that “push” has sometimes been more of a shove, but I have learned to listen. When the opportunity to move to Raleigh came up, I said “yes” without really thinking twice about it. Of course, after the initial thrill of bigger and better things wore off, I second guessed myself incessantly for the next month. I questioned whether I was brave enough to run off to a scary new city on…
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Not Cutting It
Oh boy. I go through relationships like most people go through underwear. It’s a dirty, nasty job, but I have no other choice. My future husband is simply not going to fall out of the sky and land on my front porch. And even if some poor sap did, in fact, do just that, I would most likely find something about him that grated on my nerves to no end, and I would certainly send him on his way before he had even dusted off his pants. The coach that I went out with a week ago didn’t make it to date number three. I had a few issues with this…
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For Kylie
“The secret to survival is in seeing the world through the eyes and heart of a child. To treasure life, and most of all to love simply, unconditionally, and without abandon. To love without demanding or expecting anything in return.” Dear Kylie, It is our 7th Mother’s Day. I can’t really remember my life without you. Mother’s Day is supposed to be about celebrating moms and everything we do for our kids. But what about everything our kids do for us? It goes without saying that I feel like the lucky one for having been blessed with you as my daughter. You have taught me that the little things matter.…
