For Kylie

“The secret to survival is in seeing the world through the eyes and heart of a child. To treasure life, and most of all to love simply, unconditionally, and without abandon. To love without demanding or expecting anything in return.”

Dear Kylie,

It is our 7th Mother’s Day. I can’t really remember my life without you.

Mother’s Day is supposed to be about celebrating moms and everything we do for our kids. But what about everything our kids do for us? It goes without saying that I feel like the lucky one for having been blessed with you as my daughter.

You have taught me that the little things matter. Things like smelling the flowers in the park, using my manners, not saying the “bad” words that I’m kind of prone to.

I have learned that sometimes the best way to forget about a bad day is to spend the evening with a coloring book and crayons. (Or markers, as long as they are washable.)

Having you in my life lets me be a kid again. I had forgotten how much I love school field trips. Thanks for letting me tag along and pretend to be a cool mom. I’m glad your classmates like me; I was really worried that they wouldn’t. I love having a refrigerator covered with your artwork. I have tucked post-it notes from you beside the speedometer in my car so that I can see them when I am on my way to work. They remind me that no matter how craptastic my day is, you will be waiting for me when I get home.

The highlight of my day is, at night, asking you what the best part of yours was, and your usual answer is, “Seeing you, Mommy.” Hearing that from you never gets old. You are, by far, the highlight of mine, too.

You have shown me that it’s important to laugh at myself. You do these funny impressions of me without trying to be funny. You tell me things that no one else will point out to me. If you don’t like what I’m wearing, or if my hair looks terrible, or if I have bad breath, you feel that it is your duty to tell me. I appreciate the honesty (sometimes).

I love when people call you my mini-me. I picked out the photo of you above because you look so joyful and beautiful and radiant. Although the picture is a few years old, it is one of my favorites. These days, you look different in many ways, and you hate it when I take your picture, but I still sneak them when you least expect it. Sometimes I have to take a step back and actually see you. You are growing up so fast. I have this desperate need to capture every moment with you and store it away somewhere safe. I worry incessantly that you will someday grow up and leave me, and I want to remember everything.

There have been times in the past seven years that I felt like I was doing everything wrong. I worried that I was the poster child of bad parenting. I stressed about having time to be your mom the way I wanted to be. There were never enough hours in the day for everything I wanted to tell you and show you. Being a mom has taught me that it is necessary to let some things go.

Thank you for letting me love you, and thank you for going on this journey through life with me. I can’t imagine having as much fun with anyone else.

Love, Mommy