Not Cutting It
Oh boy. I go through relationships like most people go through underwear. It’s a dirty, nasty job, but I have no other choice. My future husband is simply not going to fall out of the sky and land on my front porch. And even if some poor sap did, in fact, do just that, I would most likely find something about him that grated on my nerves to no end, and I would certainly send him on his way before he had even dusted off his pants.
The coach that I went out with a week ago didn’t make it to date number three. I had a few issues with this guy that I could not get past. First of all, he didn’t look anything like his pictures. I mean, there was enough of a resemblance that it was obviously the same dude, but not enough that I was nearly as attracted to him in person as I was in photos. I get it, there are going to be good and bad photos of everyone (myself included), but NO FAIR if you entice me with ones that make you look more George Clooney-ish than you are in real life. I won’t lie–I’m a pretty shallow girl when it comes down to it. There are certain things that I can get past. I don’t necessarily need the entire package. I can overlook a lack of hot model looks as long as there is a glowing personality buried in there somewhere. I’ll even go as far as to say that I will sacrifice a good personality as long as the guy is decent looking, although that probably won’t get him as far with me. I can only look at you for so long, after all. But this guy didn’t have either one. He refused to talk to me on the phone, stating that he would “run out of things to say.” His text messages were bland and uninteresting. Anything that I would ask was answered with a short, one-word answer. It was like having a conversation with a tree branch. I cannot develop a relationship out of that.
The other thing that irked me about this guy was that he was completely self-deprecating. I commented about how cute he looked in one of his photos, and he replied, “I’m not cute anymore. Now I’m just fat…..” Oh gosh, this is why he is online dating. He is hoping that he’ll find some stupid girl who is willing to love him as he is. My ultimate goal is to find a man who has the basic skills that I require, and then I will mold him to fit the remainder of my needs. Things went really sour last night. Earlier in the week, we had made plans to get together; this was at the point when I was willing to give him three dates before I passed complete and utter judgment on the pointlessness of investing too much time in him. Mid-week, I came down with a nasty cold that I’m still trying to shake, and then we got snow last night. I was not thrilled with the idea of (a) wiping my nose all night while trying to carry on a [probably one-sided] conversation, or (b) getting snowed in with someone that I was coming to the realization that I could not stand. Understandably, he was angry that I canceled. I would be mad if a date with me was canceled, too. His text messages were fervent and angry; if I had known that I could get him to write in complete sentences, I would have pissed him off four days ago.
Alas, today he unfriended me on Facebook, the ultimate way to let a girl know that you no longer dig her. This was not before he changed his profile photo to one of the most unflattering pictures I have ever seen, taken from the waist level pointing up, giving the appearance that he had several more chins than I had noticed as well as some nose hairs that I could have lived without seeing. It’s for the best, honestly. I could never see myself changing my personal status to “in a relationship” with him. Perhaps if he put up one of the better photos that lured me in to begin with, I would consider it. As long as I didn’t really have to go out with him in public.
I feel bad. Sometimes I’m just too mean for my own good.
